About Male Friendships

About male friendships

I believe that men have an inherent desire for platonic close friendships with other men. We see women being so open, caring and sharing, and building closeness between them. We get tired of
holding all of this crap inside us and long to share with another who is in similar situation--another man, same socialization, same family pressures, same high expectations.

Most humans, men and women alike, are not necessarily "loners"--at the same time, no matter how amazing a love relationship is and no matter who/what that relationship is with, it is so very seldom that one relationship can fulfill the plethora of needs and desires that each complicated human has. In my mind, for so many men who are in deep. loving relationships with women, may not want a deep friendship with another woman....his wife/partner fulfills all of the feminine type perspectives that he wants/needs---and therefore he would like (but unfortunately can seldom find) a good, close, deep male friendship to 'round out' what he's looking for. Even men I know in deep romantic relationships with other men need/desire a male friendship that doesn't include the issues of romanticism, possessiveness and other issues involved in primary relationships.

I fantasize about finding a buddy with whom I can be completely comfortable in all situations, from whom I feel unconditional love and support, and with whom I share many, many common interests. I dream of a 'brother' that I enjoy sharing time with, talking, playing, working, challenging and supporting. I'd be interested in hearing from others who are privileged enough to have such a friend on how they found that person, how they cultivated and nurtured that relationship, and even how that has been effected by other relationships (wives/partners, children, etc.) and how you maintain that wonderful friendship without spouses/significant others and family feeling threatened.

Certainly if there is another man in my area who yearns for this closeness with other, I'll buy the first beer or cup of coffee to talk!