The grandeur, sadness and nobility of man

I had the honor of being a part of a temporary community of men this past weekend. This group of men came together for a program of awareness, healing and intimacy. Men in this community ranged in age from men in their 20s to men in the late 60s and 70s, men from all walks of life and varying backgrounds. For me, it was a bit of an emotional roller coaster ride, both with regards to myself and my own issues as well as for men in general. I think the thing that stood out the most for me is the myriad of thoughts, feelings and experiences that we all go through on our journey to be human, and more specifically to be men.

Over the weekend, I was honored to see so many miracles, so many instances of raw beauty, and instances of joy and ecstasy, pain and sorrow. I witnessed a distinguished older gentleman who truly felt the surge of erotic energy course through his entire body for the first time in many, many years, if he’d ever experienced anything like it ever in his life. I held him in my arms as he shook, and wept, and celebrated and prayed in thanksgiving and raw elation. I was the honored spectator for men who found such joy and happiness that their bodies shook with delight and the howled with glee. I observed men who scraped off the scabs of wounds that were deep into their souls, wounds that had festered and infected for years. In an instance, I saw men who laughed and danced for joy and at nearly the same instance, others who cried out in anguish and whose bodies shook with uncontrolled weeping.

Each and every one of these instances brought me to tears…some of happiness, some of sorrow, all of admiration and respect. As a number of men came up to me to comfort me, they asked why I looked so sad. After much thought, I responded that I found it profoundly sad that we as men are socialized to not feel, or at the very least to limit our spectrum of feelings. How is it that a presumably advanced society produces men that have so many boundaries and blockages built up that we can’t even feel our own natural erotic energies? How is it that we are conditioned to be so stoic and steadfast as to deny such powerful emotions? Why is it that our society’s definition of strength denies men the ability to be demonstrative of the very emotions, thoughts and feelings that make us human?

I looked back at these men who were so compassionately holding me, and through my tears I said that I found it overpoweringly heart wrenching that for us to find and openly express these emotions, both of ecstasy and grief, that we had to seek out contrived community experiences. Having to search out such safe places just to be human seemed so cruel.

Each and every one of these men has lived through trials and tribulations. And even the negative, most difficult of those, I celebrate as they are what made these men the awesome, inspiring creatures that they are, and had brought them to that exact spot at that exact time to serve up unequivocally the unconditional love, nurturing and support that we all crave as humans. These challenges had forged them into men of strength, of character, and of unspeakable generosity who could finally express that for themselves and for the others in our community. Looking deep into the eyes and soul of every one off these men allowed me to see and feel their distress and their jubilation. It was a most beautiful and profound experience, and if any of them read this, I will be forever moved by who you are….in that moment and on our planet.

Each of these men represent millions of others, most of whom have not had the benefit of such a community experience, however brief. Let all of us as men who have that unique understanding of each other’s experiences reach out to those men around us, if only for a second, to offer that sense of understanding, support and honoring. We are all truly amazing creatures.